Consistent messages

I cannot count the number of times I have thought with frustration that the efforts I was putting in to weight loss were getting me nowhere.  I felt like I was doing the right things, making the right choices, but nothing was happening.

I was listening to a podcast yesterday, Ben Greenfield Fitness interviewing Joel Greene and he mentioned something that I had been thinking for a while.  He said it with a lot more science but I’m going to go ahead and explain my version for those non-science people.

I first started messing around with my calorie intake when I was in my teens.  For a while I’d eat too little, literally starving myself, which would lead to fat loss.  Some time later, what I now know, is my body’s natural immune system, designed to keep me alive, would kick in and my appetite would increase.  What I felt at the time was that I had no control, I’d eat, a lot, and end up bigger again.

I’ve been through this cycle so many times in my life that I’ve lost count.  I have often attributed these weight loss and weight gain phases to something happening in my life at that time; a relationship break up usually being the loss and settling in to a new relationship bringing the gain.  I do definitely believe there were emotional connections for both of those events to cause the physical effects on my body but there was also this natural drive of self preservation.  Our bodies want to keep us alive.  Thankfully.

When my weight was up, I’d be in battle, trying to get it back down again.  I’d play around with my overall calorie intake, restricting what I ate, making sure I exercised as hard as I could, burnt as much energy as possible.  

If I’m honest, I still have drives to do that now.  I have learnt to train smarter, not to push my body to its limits and risk injury, especially as I am now closer to 50 than 40.  

I also know that focusing too much on cardio exercise actually drives my appetite up, whereas weight training gives me an appetite suppression effect.  I can use that to my advantage.  I keep my cardio training to occasional interval sprints, I walk daily and weight train several times per week.

But the thing that I have been forced to face time and time again, is that exercise alone, even the right exercise, will not create the results I am after.  What is more important is the food I am putting in my mouth on a consistent basis.  With all my years of experience, with myself and with clients, this is the thing that causes the most trouble. 

We live in a world where we can access things instantly, we have google and wikipedia to answer our questions, we have everything at our fingertips, all we need do is open our computers, our phones, our tablets, and we can order anything from anywhere to be delivered to our door.  I know from my own experience that if I’m told it will take more than a week to deliver, I am surprised.

So in a world where we can get everything straight away, how do we manage when what we want will take time?  We can’t push a button or click on a screen, we have to be patient, we have to let nature take its course, and we have to be consistent for that to happen.

I remember working with a client years ago who told me that she found it hard to visit the cinema with her friends and not to indulge in popcorn and chocolates.  She told me her friends never listened to her when she said she didn’t want any and they bought them anyway and put them in front of her.  I asked her how many times she had been in this situation and held her ground, not indulged.  She told me never, she always gave in.

I’m not saying it’s easy to hold your ground, I know I’ve had huge battles with my will power.  But what I am saying is that her friends had been consistently given the message that she would eat the treats so they continued to present her with them.  She had set up the situation and never changed it.

If, one time, she said no, and didn’t indulge, her friends would have been given a new message.  Yes, the next time at the cinema, when she said no, they would probably buy the treats and put them within her reach but if she remained focused on the movie, didn’t eat any popcorn, she would have solidified the message and perhaps the next time, her friends would keep their treats out of her way.

If a young child hits its sibling most parents would say no.  The voice they used would have a level of authority that the child would understand meant there was no wriggle room, no meant no,  this was not a behaviour that we want to see repeated.

Compare that to the voice a parent might use when their child, on their birthday, asks for more ice cream.  The parent might say no but in their mind they are thinking “it’s their birthday, they’ve had a lovely day, maybe another little spoonful won’t hurt”.  

The child can hear the waver in their voice, they can hear the moment of doubt and they see their wriggle room.  The child will then ask again.  Possibly again and again and again, until they get what they want and the parent gives in, which they had indicated they would from the start.

I will raise my hand and admit that my choices have been all over the place and particularly so when I’m trying to drop body fat.  Going from a more relaxed regime to tightening the belt and making restrictions can be extremely hard, it is easy to waver back and forth.  However, if you stay in this middle ground, flip-flopping back and forth, a kind of No-Man’s-Land, you don’t get anywhere, except for frustrated because your mind focuses on the struggle you are going through, and ignores the fact that you aren’t being consistent and then feels exhausted by the effort you are making.

If you want to get results, you will find it easier if you are sending consistent messages to your body about what you are trying to achieve, what you want it to do.  If the messages are clear and they are repeated over time, your body will adjust and deliver the results you are after.

Keeping a food diary or using a calorie tracking app can be a great way to start.  It helps to keep you honest about what you’re having, both in terms of the content and the amounts.  Also honest in terms of the little extras that can “fall into your mouth” – the picking and snacking that are often a huge culprit in mis-managing calorie intake.

A lot of the food tracking apps will also give you a break down of your macros – how much protein, carbohydrate and fat you are consuming, which can also help you make modifications if you notice that any of these are not where they should be.

Be consistent, every day, probably for longer than you feel is necessary.  Give yourself a minimum of a month to see any results as, if, like me, you’ve gone through periods of feast and periods of famine, it might take your body a little while to understand exactly what it is that you want.  But if you know that you’re making good choice, day in and day out, you can rest assured that the results will come in time.